Jiaoying Summers is bringing her act of controversy, comedy and empowerment to Singapore. Don’t wait around for permission, Jiaoying says, just pick yourself up, choose happiness and if anyone decides to cancel you, just roast them first.
In an exclusive for Resonate Voices, Jiaoying spoke about her shows in Singapore, her changing relationship with controversy, and very real “Asian” issues of family responsibility, breakup fees and postpartum confinement.
“Singaporeans Are the Only Asians Who Make Eye Contact”
The American-Chinese comedian Jiaoying Summers, who will perform in Singapore in October during her international tour, says that Singaporeans are especially intelligent and disciplined.
“They are very smart. They’ll laugh early, they’ll get shocked early,” she says. “Sometimes in the middle of America, I need to speak slower. In Alabama, they need time to be like, ‘What? Oh.’ But Singapore is like, ‘Come with more punchlines, bitch. Hurry up. We got you. We are the superior species.'”
But, on the other hand, she mentions the traditional Singaporean dilemma – whether you want to laugh or to behave properly.
“Sometimes they don’t laugh, at things that are very offensive,” she jokes. “They’re like, ‘Let me see if I need people who are rich to laugh first. If I laugh, will you think I’m poor?’ They are very proper sometimes.”
According to Resonate Voices’ host JJ, this is the Singaporean mentality he knows well. “Singaporeans are very 闷骚 (mèn sāo),” he says. “We love to laugh, but we also think, ‘We have to keep that fancy image.'”
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Summers confirms it, comparing Singapore to other “fancy Asian” countries where she performed.
“Shanghainese people are snobby. They think they are better than the rest of China, especially compared to Beijing,” she says. “Hong Kong people think they are better than everyone else because of their movies and music. They are really arrogant.”
She tells us a legendary story of an interaction with a Hong Kong waiter, who looked down at her accent, her family’s Mandarin language, and even the way her husband eats.
“He was so proud to be from Hong Kong. He didn’t care how much money we made. He was just like, ‘That’s not how you eat a sandwich. You guys are slobs.’ I loved him. He was such a character.”
Comparing to the rest, she finds Singapore to be perfectly balanced: international and polite, tough but not mean.
“Singaporeans are the only Asians who make eye contact,” she says. “They’ll make you feel poor and cheap, but they won’t offend you because they acknowledge you. In China, they are like, ‘Oh, don’t talk to me.'”
She singles out Singapore-born singer Stefanie Sun (Sun Yanzi) as a perfect representation of the city state: “Extremely international, talented, beautiful, but not as vain. She just does her music. She’s a pure artist.”
“Bojio”, Grab and the Singaporean Baddie Who Paid Her Fare
Despite her love to Singapore, Summers admits that she needs to improve her Singlish. Asked if she learned any local slang terms, she laughs.
“I learned some, but I forgot. Someone taught me some when I was here last year for Just for Laughs.”
JJ helpfully teaches her one important phrase: “bojio”.
“It’s a mix of FOMO,” JJ explains. “If I post that I’m going to your show and a friend says, ‘Why you never invite me?’ That’s bojio.”
“Bojio. That’s good,” Summers repeats, immediately planning to use it during her performance. “I’ll tell Bobby about that.”
Asked what Singapore does better than anywhere else, she doesn’t mention infrastructure or food first. She speaks about people.
She describes a story of arriving to a restaurant for the first time meeting with her friend, and realizing that her Grab ride was set to pay in cash, and she had no local currency with her.
“I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to ask my friend, ‘Hey, give me some cash. I’ll give you a five-dollar blowjob.’ I didn’t know what to say.”
A Singaporean receptionist at the restaurant helped her out, asked how much the fare was, gave her own money and paid the driver.
“She was such a baddie,” Summers says. “She was like, ‘I’ve got it.’ That was so Singaporean. In Singapore, everyone wants you to have a good day.”
She’s still determined to find this lady and thank her. “I have her name. I just need to find which restaurant it was.”
Money as Love Language: Parents, Kids and The 10% Rule
The conversation inevitably goes to families – specifically, the unwritten Asian contract of financially supporting your parents after “making it”.
“Oh my God, yes. Totally,” Summers replies when asked if she gives money to her parents. “I’m very Chinese. I give my dad money to take care of him and my grandparents.”
Her mother, on the other hand, embraced her fame era with enthusiasm.
“She got refractive lens exchange so she wouldn’t need to wear glasses. She didn’t want to wear sunglasses because she didn’t think they were hot,” Summers says. “Now I’m negotiating with my plastic surgeon to give her a mini neck lift or a mini facelift. She wants to look like my sister. She wants to look hot now.”
Speaking more seriously, she admits that she’s already teaching her kids to think of family responsibilities early. Her son, who is half-white, keeps promising to buy her houses and cars when he’ll grow up.
“He’ll see something and say, ‘Mommy, when I grow up, I’ll buy you this house.’ I tell him, ‘You have to study first. You have to be very smart to afford a house.'”
When he studies, he’ll tell her: “Mommy, I’m studying very hard so I can buy you the house if Daddy leaves you again.”
“I tell him, ‘First of all, he’s not leaving me. He’s staying with me forever’,” she laughs. “He has a stepdad, so I got myself a new husband. It’s a beautiful, complete family.”
Break-Up Fees, Cellulite, and the Eileen Gu Benchmark
One can hardly imagine an interview with Summers without her most viral topic – so-called Chinese “break-up fee” when a woman should ask for money from her ex for time and emotional investments.
“If my daughter Margo, when she grows up, would want a break-up fee, I’ll give her a break-up fee,” says Summers. “Because Margo is such a diva, she will break many hearts. She will dump a lot of guys. I’m afraid that she will be mean without any trauma. Maybe she’ll become a world leader or maybe she’ll become Hitler, but I need to be really careful about her.”
Summers doesn’t think that Margo needs help in negotiations. “She will hold the guy hostage and get what she wants.”
For Singaporean women interested in pricing, Summers proposes an ironic guideline considering height, appearance, education, and personality.
“165 centimeters is the benchmark of a beautiful girl. I lie about my height, people believe me that I’m 165, but I’m not,” she says. “You have to look like you’re hungry. Smooth skin, no cellulite. If you have cellulite, you should pay the guy.”
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Education plays its role as well. “If you went to some famous schools, especially Ivy League, you can ask for a lot of money.”
Summers suggests an imaginary benchmark. “So if you think that Eileen Gu is $1 million per month, she can charge $12 million for a year. If you think that you’re a seven, you charge $700,000 per month. If you’re a two, you get $200,000.” But she warns: “If you dated Eileen Gu and didn’t marry her, fuck you! You wasted her time. You need to be fined.”
Of course, the humor here is in irony. “Somebody like me, unfortunately, won’t get any break-up fee because I’m causing enough emotional damage.”
JJ immediately understands that she should create an infographic. “It would go viral in Singapore.”
“I should create this infographic before I go to Singapore,” Summers says. “Singapore baddies, you’re so educated, you speak English and you should ask for more.”
They both start laughing about possible consequences. “The only thing I’m worried about is that Singapore government might want to have a coffee with you,” JJ says. “Our birth rate is low. If you publish this, you might frighten a lot of men.”
Review Bombing to Roasting: “I Forgot My Real Weapon”
However, behind this joke hides a dark side of the story. Being pregnant, Jiaoying and her Los Angeles comedy club became a victim of a coordinated attack from some influencers claiming that they were sexually harassed in her venue. It wasn’t true, but it made damage anyway.
“We had a thousand of negative Google reviews. Our rating was about 4.5, and it dropped to one point,” she remembers. “Our host, who was Black, was called the N-word. People said to kill himself. I got death threats. People called me and said ‘I know where you live’ and ‘I know where your kids go to school.'”
First of all, she decided to follow all the protocols. It meant hiring lawyers, making statements, waiting for the main media to get the news and correct the information. They did it, but by that moment the damage was already done.
“What broke my heart the most was that I saw my staff being harassed outside the club,” she says. “At first, I was angry and forgot who I am. I forgot that I’m a comedian and can roast these people.”
For a month, she tried to behave responsible and strategic. However, influencers refused to remove videos and repeat their claims.
“I learned my lesson,” says Summers. “I won’t wait and try to be nice and get press and PR involved first. The truth will come out later. I’m not waiting anymore. I’ll attack them right away.”
Finally, she managed to turn this situation into content by roasting these influencers on stage and on the Internet.
“I should have done this on day one. I should have just said, ‘Fuck you, bitches’. I forgot my real weapon is my brain and my mouth.”
This experience influenced her perception of dealing with mobs and bullies.
“If I’ll ever face a bully, I’ll face him head-on. I’m not waiting until people tell me, ‘Jiaoying, you’re the bad guy because you’re bullying these people.'”
Confined, Sea Cucumbers, and Her Possible Future as a Mother
According to Summers, the help of her confinement nurse from Guangzhou called Sandy helped her recover much better during her last pregnancy than the previous time.
“She cooked me chicken ginseng soup and high-shin sea cucumbers. The first time when my husband saw that big black thing, he said, ‘You don’t have to do this.’ I said, ‘Yes, I do.’”
Sandy also handled the night feedings, pumping, and even traditional hair washing with herbs.
“I felt so much stronger after this baby than I did a few years ago. I did two months of confinement, although I should have done three months.”
She feels so positively about her experience that now she changed her mind concerning having another child.
“I never wanted kids, but because of her, I might want one more. It’s very Asian of me. I didn’t want kids, but I could have Sandy again, so maybe I should.”
“Just Fucking Do It, Bitch”
In the end of their conversation, JJ asks what message Summers would like to deliver to the people of Singapore through her show.
“All my Singapore fans – especially the young ones and professionals who want to try something new or something fun that they may get judged for – I want you to just fucking do it,” she says.
“Life is short. You can do anything you want to do. Forget about being judged by anyone. If someone judges you, it means you don’t have true friends. Choose your happiness above everything else. You have to make yourself happy first to make your loved ones happy.”
She pauses and adds the punchline version of her answer:
“All I want to say is: just fucking do it, bitch. You’ve got it.”
Jiaoying Summers will be performing in Singapore later on 6 October, buy tickets here.
