"Yo, white people, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' sucks"
Ronny Chieng has explained why an Asian needs to be the president of America
Appearing on the Jimmy Fallon Show, Ronnie Chieng performed a stand-up skit in which he explained why the US president should be Asian.
First, Chieng says that America needs more Asian people. “We need more Asian people in this country,” he says. “Right now we’re like 5.6% of the population, get that number right up.”
The Malaysian comedian sees Asians as the middlemen between white and black people.
“We are the only objective referees in your ongoing race war between white and black people,” Chieng explains. “Because you don’t care about us and we don’t care about any of you. So you can trust us.”
Chieng believes Asians will just tell the truth without any other motive. “We tell you things, there’s no agenda. There’s no reason to lie because we don’t care.”
“Our skin is not in the game. Literally. NFL, NBA, our skin is in none of those games,” Chieng observed. “So we don’t give a damn who is kneeling at what.”
“You can trust us to tell the truth. Ugly truth, but truth nonetheless,” he continued. “Like, yo, white people, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ sucks. It’s an undanceable song. Kindly stop chanting it at parties.If you must, keep it to your shower, okay?”
The 33-year-old then concluded that “we need an Asian president.”
“Get that Asian President in the White House,” Chieng demanded. “We will fix this place in a week. Give us a solid eight days, you will see results because we don’t care. We just want things to work.”
Chieng explained that Asians will never stop working.
“We don’t shut down for anything,” he said. “We don’t shut down for Christmas. We work through public holidays. Any city in America when it’s 3:00 a.m. and you’re hungry, where do you go? You go to Chinatown cause things are delicious, affordable and open.”
“Do you understand how meaningless the concept of Thanksgiving is to me?” Chieng continued. “Screw turkey. It’s dry. I’d rather fix healthcare than eat turkey. How about that?”
Chieng added that it would also be inspirational for Asian children.
“What an inspirational message that would send to Asian children everywhere in America, if we have the first Asian President, you could finally go up to Asian children anywhere in America and you can say, “Hey, listen, buddy, you don’t have to be just a neurosurgeon.””
Earlier this year, Chieng slammed People Magazine for misidentifying the cast of Crazy Rich Asians.