"Cantonese sounds like barking dogs, it's dirty and gross and covered in smog."
Funny or Die has released a video about how Asians supposedly hate each other.
Comedy video site Funny or Die has released a video titled ‘Asians Don’t Like Asians’, that claims to demonstrate how Chinese, Koreans and Japanese dislike each other.
In the clip, five people are seen wearing different T-shirts indicating which country they represent – South Korea, Japan, China, USA and the Philippines.
The clip opens with South Korea saying, “is that guy laughing or is he just Chinese?”
USA, represented by a white male says, “you’re making Asian jokes and you’re all Asian and it’s making me a little uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine, Asians are racist against other Asians,” Japan explains.
“Allow us to Asian-splain,” says South Korea, before China says, “what if we did it in the whitest way possible, in the style of a barbershop quartet?”
Japan, South Korea and China then break into a chorus of, “Asians don’t like asians, we come from different lands, if you’re Asian you’ll understand.”
South Korea and China then lay into Japan, explaining why they don’t like the Japanese. “Here’s a hint, it rhymes with WWII,” they sing. “You did some fucked up shit in WWII,” China adds.
Japan and South Korea then team up against China. “Many chinse people standing shoulder to shoulder to shoulder to shoulder,” they sing. “Cantonese sounds like barking dogs. It’s dirty and gross and covered in smog.”
South Korea then asks to be roasted. “Koreans are tacky and flashy,” Japan and China reply. “Too much plastic surgery is trashy.” Receiving only half a verse, Japan explains that South Korea is only “half a country.”
“We think we’re each the best, don’t confuse us for the rest,” the three sing in chorus.
The Philippines then pops up asking, “what about all the other asian countries?”, but is quickly dismissed.
“Asians are super duper racist,” Japan, South Korea and China conclude in harmony.
“I think I get it,” says USA. “Korea is the worst,” triggering the other four countries to be outraged.